Making the decision

I'm going back here a bit, but it was probably late summer. We were talking again about that second child I so desperately wanted and had finally decided, yes, we would try. I had my annual with my ob-gyn. She was upbeat, really, about getting pregnant at 40. And that was so freeing. Because when I realized that maybe I really could get pregnant, I also realized that maybe I didn't need to. That all the adoption thoughts that had been in my head for so many years anyway might just make more sense than trying to get pregnant, worrying about miscarriages, hearing how after six months I'd need to take fertility drugs, etc. I'd done the pregnancy thing, and I'd loved it, but it didn't seem so important now.
And so where to go?